Sometimes I say things.
Well, I say a lot of things,
but on occasion I have been more than nudged
to keep a recording device handy.
A best friend says, “JORDAN! YOU think what you say is normal, but GEEZ!
Listen to yourself! Literally! Your ideas fire like spark plugs in a car engine
ALL . . . .THE. . .FRICKIN’. . . .TIME!
I think you are so accustomed to that maybe you miss it?! Geez!”
And then, another friend suggests I change my profile picture,
that though she digs it n all, it has been up long enough
to collect some eDust. “Freshin’ up Dood. It’s summer!”
And, toward a gesture I make, another friend indicates
I might just be in for a make-over. Hmmmm
ALmost broke a toe again.
(it happens in my fastforward movement style more than you care to know,
or shall I say almost REbroke a toe as thankfully all but the big ones have been)
as my cat of 18 years-n-a-season,
who continually thinks it seems that I should be training for Cirque Du Soleil footwork
slalom-serpentine weaved through my feet at light speed as I walked into the bathroom
where there is nowhere but room enough for straightforward steps. . .
moving my foot fast like a leaf blasted by the feline jet-plane fly-THROUGH
only to immediately stomp on the left quadricep-soaz-glute braking system
to avert disaster and screaching foot tire-tracks in the air. . .
simply toe-bump the toilet staving off a badass head-on collision.
He (my cat) had water to get to ya know?!, and that’s important. lol
But, smiling, my left foot still in the air. . .
standing there like a goofball crane, Hanged Man in upright Tree Position. . .
I laughed. . .”This is SO not The Hanged Man reversed or Tree Position. This is the Sun.
Smiling more. Why don’t I listen to my friends telling me to listen to myself. . .
and go frickin’ LISTEN, really listen to myself.”
VoiLA, now voiCI, and I SEE. . .
as I watch-listened to the first video I ever made. . .
or, more rather the first video,
aka trapping a wild animal by recording them in their natural environment. . .
well, it wasn’t a non sequitur to her. . .She had PLANS! And DAYum does she make great ones!
Carrie, who simply, me unaware of anything up her sleeve,
heck it was brunch on Sunday. . .
Friend 101, Orientation Lesson. They are never NOT pranking you. 😀
Carrie, smilingly-trick-gifted me to willingly and unknowingly make a video.
That was a year ago. And, though I full-on dig the video, something larger was present.
When you listen, really listen. . .of course after you stop laughing,
It’ll catalyze your Mo Betta Much Metta Highest Good like nothing else!
Until just now, I was always under the impression that 3-card Monte street card game was unwinnable.
Seems Carrie played a street card game with me as a plant already AT the table,
but in more than appearance I won. In more than appearance. . . I won.
Watching this video, this mere 46 seconds of time,
I feel a deep appreciation for myself as my best teacher again.
No need for cosmetology school here, no plastic surgeons in this makeover.
Even forgetting my architectural notions of remodel or scrape or new.
This is to be something different.
New? Yes. Fresh and natural and maybe even deceptively simple? Even more so!
8-38-31 won’t open a combo lock when the right number 8-38-32.
So, tuning my personal FM stereo. . .I certainly have enough silver in my mouth.
Listening. Watch-Listening. “Me, as only I can be” is the message I got from myself on video.
That’s nothing new. Or, is it? Is it a lesson where there is no graduation,
all life not the pause of commencement, but life lived? Uh, lemme think. . .YES!
Smiling with lotsa hmmmm’s in a makeover moment, I am listening.
“Can be” switcharoos to “Am”, 8-31-32 tinker-tuned up to 8-38-32,
and though appearance vs reality is a common theme in literature, often called irony. . .
Have I been hiding in plain sight playing hide n seek with myself?
Not gonna cap on myself like that, I gave the armchair psychologist the day off.
Red Rover Red Rover Come on over from the personal irony side!
Makeover time? YesssssItttttTis!
I am gonna watch myself from last summer on video again,
and then TODAY listen acutely without too much force to what I say TODAY!
Listening to life rapt like when aspen tree leaves rustling sound like running water.
In closing, listening to oneself is not necessarily narcissism,
even when publicly expressing you are doing so like in this blog.
I sincerely hope it helps others find THEIR gifts.
How long does the ground erode before you jump into the sea with both feet
realizing that you ARE the sea
with everything you do as the ground?
What can you get
from a deep appreciation
of 46 seconds of YOUR life?
Cheers to discovering YOUR “46 second” gems!
(c) 2010, 2011 Jordan Hoggard